


Samskara

by entwashian



Category: Roswell (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-20
Updated: 2008-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 04:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1630847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entwashian/pseuds/entwashian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three boys. Three girls. One minibus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Samskara

**Author's Note:**

> Written for impactvelocity

 

 

The passengers of the minibus wait silently for Kyle to speak. He wets his lips, considering. When discussing the important issues, delivery is key.

He draws in a breath. "When the melon is ripe, it will fall of itself."

Game on.

"Ooh, ooh, I know this one!" Maria bursts out, gesturing wildly. The manifestation of her enthusiasm nearly causes Kyle to lose an eye, despite the capacious interior of the bus. "It's like, 'Don't count your chickens before they hatch.'"

Michael frowns. "No, 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' is a warning not to get your expectations up. This one is about having patience."

"Good things come to those who wait," Isabel chimes in helpfully. Michael waves a hand at her in concession, and Maria rolls her eyes at him.

"I think Maria's right," Liz counters from the front passenger seat. Not that Kyle's surprised. "They're both warnings not to get ahead of yourself. You have to have all the data before you can make a responsible conclusion. When the melon falls off the vine, then you know it's ripe. When the egg hatches, then you know you have a chicken."

"But it's a foregone conclusion that the melon will ripen at some point," Max asserts from the driver seat. In the rearview mirror, Kyle sees his eyes flick briefly toward Liz before settling back on the road. "Meanwhile, you don't know if any chicks will ever hatch. Both sayings advocate waiting for something to happen, but one is talking about _when_ something will happen, while the other is talking about _if_ something will happen."

"So they're both saying that it doesn't really matter what you do, because you can't affect the outcome in either case," Isabel says flatly, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. Her short haircut leaves bare the curve of her bowed neck.

"No..." there are light wrinkles of concentration on Liz's forehead as she turns to look back at the other passengers. "Because if you pick the melon too early, it won't have the chance to ripen."

"Then, to pursue the metaphor," Michael deadpans, "what it's really saying is, 'Don't bash your eggs in with a sledgehammer to see if there are chickens inside.'"

Kyle grins at him. "I'm finding it very difficult not to prostrate myself in the presence of such wisdom."

Maria claps her hands. "So did I win?!"

*****

When they arrive in Flagstaff, they have to fill the tank, and realize just how few liquid assets they own. The cash from their wallets adds up to a total of six hundred thirty seven dollars and twenty eight cents.

Five hundred comes from Michael, which makes Kyle feel a little inadequate about his contribution of thirty three bucks, but he rationalizes to himself that Michael was the only one who had been carrying around his nest egg with him. Besides, Buddha teaches that the desire for worldly possessions only leads to suffering.

But even Buddha had to eat, and it's not just the minibus that's running on empty.

"Can't you just use your freakish alien powers and turn that rock into an apple or something?" Kyle complains to Max.

"Oh, god," Maria groans, pressing the heels of her hands against her forehead. "Can you just imagine? What if it turns back into a rock once it's in your stomach?"

Max shoots her a look, and Kyle is surprised to see that it's one of bemusement and affection. "I don't think that would happen."

"I could _so_ go for a Will Smith right now," Maria continues as Michael, Isabel, and Liz return from the gas station's convenience store.

"A: I'm going to assume you mean the burger and not the actor," Michael says, approaching from behind Maria and startling her into a defensive position, "and B: don't get your panties in a twist, 'cause we're going to the Taco Bell over there for dinner. Bean burritos all around." Maria slaps him lightly on the arm, though Kyle's not sure if it's for scaring her or for the panties comment.

It quickly becomes an unimportant distinction when Michael catches Maria's hand and briefly presses it to his lips. It's pretty clear that this unexpected gesture appeases Maria, and she closes her eyes and leans into Michael.

Kyle averts his eyes and meets Liz's gaze. "I gave the attendant thirty dollars," she tells him. "It won't be enough to fill the tank, but it should last us a little while." Max, their silently-agreed-upon leader, had immediately placed Liz in charge of their funds once they had pooled their money. Kyle would put up a token objection, but it's not as if he wants the responsibility.

"Would you mind pumping the gas while we get the food?" Liz asks him.

"I'll do my best," he replies, laying his hand over his heart. As the other five turn to walk over to the restaurant, Kyle adds, "While we're stopped, I might as well do a quick once-over of the bus to see if there are any problems with it."

Max nods. "Probably a good idea."

"I could use one of you a-- one of you three, in case I come across something that does need fixing."

Maria snorts. "I still remember what Michael did to the Jetta on our fun little Texas road trip. Believe me, you do not want him messing with our only mode of transportation."

Michael just shrugs. "Also, I'm really hungry." He starts toward the restaurant, and Maria follows.

Max looks at Isabel, and Kyle sees her gaze drop down to where Max's hand is entwined with Liz's.

"Fine, I'll stay," Isabel says, crossing her arms, "but you'd better get me plenty of the Hot sauce. Not the Fire crap that Michael likes."

"Thank you," Max replies, before moving off with Liz to join Michael and Maria.

Arms still folded tightly across her chest, Isabel leans against the open door of the minibus. Her posture indicates impatience and annoyance, but her eyes just look tired.

"Oh, come on!" Kyle exclaims with mock disbelief. "You know that being alone with me is what you've been wanting this whole time."

Isabel doesn't uncross her arms, but she smiles.

*****

"To light the lamp before Buddha, first extinguish self." As Kyle recites the new proverb, he turns around in his seat to face the other passengers and holds up one finger. He hopes it looks imperious. At least, he hopes it looks imperious if 'imperious' means what he thinks it does.

"That's not a fair question," Michael objects. "How are we supposed to know the Five Pillars of Buddha or whatever?"

Isabel's lips twitch with suppressed mirth. "That's Islam, Michael. Besides, the part about honoring Buddha is not what's important. Letting go of your own selfish thoughts and feelings is the important part."

"To let your love flow, like a mountain stream," Max says in a grave tone of voice. Then his eyes flick to where his sister is sitting nearby, and they both break into laughter.

"Max?" Liz enquires, placing a hand on his chest.

"It's this awful song our Dad used to listen to," Isabel explains.

"You should hear some of the stuff _my_ mom plays," Maria replies. She's only listening to the conversation with half an ear, which is just fine by Kyle, since she's taking her turn behind the wheel.

Kyle decides it's time to return to the topic at hand. "Why do you say that letting go of your thoughts and feelings is the important part?" he asks Isabel.

"Because the truth doesn't come from inside you. It's independent of any one person. So if you look there for answers, all that you'll find is your own concerns." Isabel stops, and the atmosphere in the bus grows heavy with introspection. All the passengers in the back of the minibus are staring down into their laps. Isabel is looking blankly at her own hands, which she's absently rubbing back and forth. Kyle doesn't know what she's thinking about. Her attempt to keep the Valandra and Kivar relationship a secret from her brother? The way Tess tried to hide her actions by abusing her mind warp power? The fact that she lied to Jesse about who she was, and then left him alone with nothing?

"We all make mistakes," Max finally says. "We all forget that the truth is out there, and that it doesn't care about our feelings, or what we want for ourselves."

When Isabel glances up, Kyle catches her eye in the rearview mirror. He turns his head slightly, so she can read his lips, and carefully mouths the words, 'I don't make mistakes.'

She rolls her eyes at him, but her hands cease their nervous movement. Some miracle of quantum mechanics transfers that nervous energy into Kyle, and his fingers begin to tap out a pattern on his thigh. It turns out that transforming into some half-human creature isn't his greatest fear. It's being with these people, twenty four hours a day, every day of his life.

Isabel may be oblivious, but there are four other people with them, and sooner or later, Kyle knows he's going to slip up and expose his feelings for her. He can't help but feel it's only a matter of time.

But, hey, he was the quarterback for four years (six, if you count junior high), and he knows a thing or two about misdirection.

He leans over to fiddle with the knobs on the stereo, trying to coax it into picking up any kind of signal at all.

*****

In Richmond, Kyle is lightly rapping his knuckles against the sun-warmed glass of the window when his fingers start to melt off. Or that's what it looks like, anyway.

Liz is driving, which is terribly unfortunate, since he'd like to broach the subject more casually. Or never. Never would work really well with his timetable.

But since his wrist ends in a blobby lump of flesh -- Kyle closes his eyes and tells himself that it's just a hallucination -- now is when it's gonna happen.

"Hey, Liz, what did you say the symptoms of the change were again?" He reaches up with his other hand to scratch behind his ear, and it distorts the way he hears his own voice.

Liz throws on the brakes, and wow, it's not like those cobblestone streets were easy riding in the first place. "Oh my god, now?!" It isn't quite a shriek, but it's not the calmest tone he's ever heard her use, either. Liz looks like she's about to panic for a few moments, but then the old familiar Liz is back, snapping into attention and laying out the beginnings of a plan. "Okay, here's what we're gonna do... the symptoms probably won't be bad until another couple of days, but since we only have cash, we should try to find a motel that will house us for more than one day right now, instead of waiting until _after_ we really need it."

They do spend most of the afternoon and evening trying to find a place that will take them on a cash-only basis, so it's full dark by the time they start to settle in. Kyle's glad for Liz's foresight and concern, he really is, but now there's nothing to do but pack themselves into the tiny motel room and wait. And think about what's going to happen.

Somehow when things get tense, they always find themselves divided in to the same old groups. The room has two twin beds and no chairs, so Kyle ends up sitting on one of the beds with Liz and Maria while Max, Michael, and Isabel sit on the other.

Kyle's hand looks normal to him again (which the others insisted it had all along), but thirteen or so hours later, it goes numb. Then it starts giving off smoke, and the little clock radio on the dresser next to the bed where he's sitting gives off a shower of tiny sparks. He looks over at Liz and Maria.

"Please tell me that's another hallucination."

Liz shakes her head. Everyone is silently starting at Kyle with wide eyes, and it's starting to creep him out.

"So, uh, isn't this happening a little fast?" Kyle gestures expansively, and the light bulb in the table lamb flickers and emits a warning humming sound. He scoots closer to the center of the bed. "I mean, aren't I supposed to have a few more months before I hit puberty?"

"I've been thinking about that since you first mentioned it in the car," Liz says hesitantly. "When I was... going through the change, being around Max made the symptoms worse. At the time, I thought it was because I was in all this emotional turmoil, you know, but it might have been like a physical proximity thing."

Max stares moodily at Liz from across the room, looking as though he wants to speak. Kyle glares at him, because if he has to listen to Max apologize for hurting Liz _one more time_ , he is seriously going to lose it. 

Max's sense of self-preservation is having an off day, because he fails to notice Kyle's murderous expression and opens his mouth to speak. Fortunately, he has an older, wiser, protective sister who cuts him off before he can make a sound. "And Kyle's been riding around in very close proximity to the three of us for a whole week," Isabel says, finishing off Liz's train of thought.

"Four of us," Michael corrects her.

"What are you talking about?" Maria asks him.

"Liz is different now, too." 

At first she looks taken aback by Michael's words, but then Liz gives him a considering look. "That's true," she finally says. "We have no way of knowing how much my physiology has changed in the last couple months."

"Great. So basically what this all means is that I work at the pound, and I've developed a sudden allergy to dogs." It's not his wittiest moment ever, but Kyle's starting to feel a little disoriented.

"I'm pretty sure it means that you live in the pound," Maria replies sweetly.

His calf has started to ache as though he's just run several laps around the track, and Kyle frowns and rubs at it with irritation.

"I think we should try to hold off on the speculation," Max says. "The only thing we really know so far is that Kyle's... transition seems to be happening at a faster pace than Liz's."

"Sure, let's be calm and rational _now_ ," Kyle feels himself growing more irritated by the second, "after all, it's only me who might be in mortal danger. No need to worry about it." He pinches down savagely on his calf, which is not getting any better.

"O-kay, that's enough of that," Maria says, standing up and lifting her hands in a 'back off' gesture. She grabs the little bucket off the top of the dresser and shoves it into Max's chest. "Here. Go get some ice. We might need it."

As Max leaves the room to comply with Maria's order, she moves back to Kyle and puts her hand on his shoulder. "Look, I know you're probably feeling pretty crappy right now, but we're all here to help. I promise."

He's trying to think of a suitable platitude to mumble back at her when the calf muscle he's been massaging cramps up. He knows from experience that the best way to ease a cramp is to move around and use the muscle, however counter-intuitive that may be, but before he can so much as stretch his leg, the rest of his muscles stiffen up, too, like he's being squeezed in a giant, invisible fist.

Kyle grits his teeth, having a loopy moment in which he thinks fondly of his wrestling mouth guard. Then he feels his pulse pounding in his temples, and he can't parse out any coherent single thought. Distantly, he registers that Isabel and Maria are both trying to talk at him, but he can't understand a single word they're saying.

Then suddenly, it all stops. Kyle carefully uncurls himself from the fetal position, flopping onto his back and groaning, "This trip is not fun any more."

"Here, drink this," Michael shoves a glass into his hand, and it's slightly cloudy tap water from the bathroom sink, but Kyle knows it will help with the cramps, so he drinks it all.

Max returns with the bucket full of ice, and sees everyone crowded around Kyle. "What happened?"

Michael shrugs. "His muscles just seized up."

Kyle hands his empty glass to the nearest person, which happens to be Isabel. She hesitates for a moment, then takes it with extreme care, being very certain not to touch his hand. She bustles away with the glass, leaving Kyle overwhelmed by the entire experience and very, very confused.

"At least I'm not crackling like you," Kyle says to Liz to distract himself.

"Or setting fire to anything," Liz agrees.

He has a residual headache, and he still feels week and slightly shaky, but Kyle feels a measure of goodwill starting to return. Then he feels a spasm in his thigh.

He feels a small cry being wrenched from his throat which he might feel embarrassed about later, but his muscles are all clenched again, and the pain is three times what it was before.

The last thing he consciously hears is Maria saying, "Oh, that can't be good."

When he comes back to himself, morning light is streaming through the cheap, rough fabric of the motel curtains, and the room is empty except for Liz, who is curled up on the other bed. She's awake, but staring off into space.

"Wow, it's nice to know that when things get tough, I have such a loyal group of friends to stand by my side." Liz starts at the sound of Kyle's voice, then crosses the space between the beds to perch next to him.

"None of us got much sleep last night," she explains. "You were still having fits until about an hour and a half ago, but then you seemed to be sleeping peacefully, so everyone else went out to get some breakfast."

"Uh-huh. And you drew the short straw."

"We were all really worried, Kyle. I don't think Isabel slept a wink. She was sitting up right here all night." Liz bites her lip. "I think she wanted to hold your hand, but was afraid of touching you. That she might hurt you."

Kyle's throat constricts a little, but he waves away Liz's concern about his feelings. "I'm just messing with you. I feel fine."

Liz examines his face. "Do you think... Do you think it's over?"

Kyle uses his elbows to prop himself into a sitting position. "Oddly enough, yeah, I do."

Liz makes a gathering motion with her hair, as if she's going to tie it back, and Kyle is hit with a wave of déjà vu.

"Liz, when everyone else left, did you fall asleep at all?"

"I might had a short nap. Why?"

"I think I dreamwalked you." 

Liz stares at him. "I do remember dreaming," she says slowly. "But how can you be sure?"

"I dreamwalked with Isabel before," Kyle answers. "When she was mad at Max, I tried to get her to loosen up a bit, use her powers for fun."

"Who did you dreamwalk?"

"That... is _so_ unimportant," Kyle looks for a way to change the subject. "I really hope I don't accidentally dreamwalk every time I fall asleep. Especially if you dream about Evans like _that_ every night."

"Oh, you--" Kyle grins when he realizes he's got Liz flustered and on the defensive. "You totally could have guessed that! That doesn't mean you saw what I was dreaming about."

"I wouldn't want to go into detail and embarrass you," Kyle teases her, "but that thing with the potholders? _Very_ inventive. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Fine, you win! I'll tell everyone you dreamwalked me. But you can't tell them what it was about." Liz still doesn't realize that she has absolutely no leverage to bargain with.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Kyle places his hands behind his head and leans back against the wall, feeling a smirk spreading across his face. One greatest fear conquered, one left to go.

*****

Leaving Richmond, they find a CD that someone has left by the side of the road. It's a bunch of oldies Motown hits that none of them are familiar with, but after a while, anything is better than the silence. 

Michael's driving the bus, and Max is in the front with him. In the very back, Isabel is using her power to play the disc. It only lasts for an hour or so, though, and they're back to silence.

He feels Maria's elbow dig into his side. "Hey, Kyle, give us another one."

"All right, I've got a good one." He rubs his hands together. "Heaven is only three feet above your head."

 


End file.
